I wondered why the baseball seemed like it was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the cow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A little boy stole a calendar. The judge gave him twelve months.

People who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.

We’ll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

When she became a kallah, she got a new name and a dress.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.